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Posts Tagged ‘finding solitude’


Winter finally dumped its load and now everything is pristine white. A heavy, wet and sticky blanket of snow.  The beginning of a 6 month period of plowing roads. shoveling roofs, lugging wood and trudging snow.

At times I wonder…

On the flip side, there is such a silence.  During the recent storm, there was very little activity out on the main dirt road.  Besides not being plowed, people stayed home.  Smart people…unlike all the dumb shits I have been reading about lately….

One of the things I did to maintain what is left of my sanity was to stop watching and listening to the national news.  I do keep up with print, but even then the media needs to be used like salt.  A pinch here, a pinch there.  There is very little I take for honest truth when it comes to reporting all the crazy shit going on today.  I hear about right wing conservatives, left wing socialist democrats, elected leadership (and I use that term very loosely) and see how lost and inefficient they have become.  I hear about all the snowflakes who’s need for a “safe place” outweighs growing a pair.  Violence, ignorance and apathy seems to have over flowed and drowned the traits of common sense, moral decency and honor.

Am I cynical?  After watching the spiraling down of social norms for the past 60 years, fucking right I am  Does my cynicism overshadow all the positives in my life?  Not in the least.  It is what it is…

But I digress…back to the white shit.

Now, I have the temporary opportunity to romanticize the images of falling snow, the dead quietness of the mountain and the solitude winter affords.  To sit and watch the flame shadows dance and to enjoy my hot coffee without interference.  I figure by springtime I will have either become one with this mountain or batshit crazy.  Time will tell.

I do know that the plowing, shoveling, lugging and trudging will become damned old, damned fast.  No matter how much spin I give it, winters are long, cold and dark.  Good for vampires.  For me…not so much.

So, here’s to now….

 

 

 

 

 

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I am working harder now, than I have for years. It feels good. Began clearing brush and inspecting the woodlot. Also began realizing I am not all that young anymore. And sadly, it won’t get any better… As they say….”It is, what it is.”

There are advantages of living remotely, besides the peace and quiet from the rat race one experiences here in the woods.  There is also a learning curve involved.  It takes time to shed all the drama, noise and routines of everyday life that one has lived for decades. This is all the shit you carry with you along that road.  This shit needs to disappear.

The one important thing I learned is to not let your work identify who you are. One’s work is just a temporary extension of a multi-faceted lifestyle. If you do not separate your work from who you are, there will be a sense of loss once you retire. Just be forewarned…

Another benefit…or not… of solitude is the opportunity to engage your brain into a new level of thinking. Not that superficial brain activity that people do to get through the day, but something slower…deeper…more tangible. Thinking that asks pertinent questions of one’s self. Thinking may elicit moments of regret, or melancholy or bring a smile, a sense of accomplishment or a feeling pride in that you lived a good life as a good person. Here one can get a deeper sense of who one really is.  It is a time to unclutter and rid oneself of all that shit I carry, make choices of priorities and reconnect with my environment. It is a place and time to truly enjoy the awesomeness of mother nature and to give thanks to all the gifts one is given throughout one’s life. I have many…people I still carry in my heart and mind, a great family, many good friends and life accomplishments. The latter being something that validates the importance of our existence within our own minds…

Hiked up the back acres to mark trees for next year’s firewood and stopped to check on the well. Three tiles deep (12′ deep)and spring fed. The well is almost an 8th mile from the cabin and sits at a much higher elevation…hence, gravity feed water system. Clean spring water and no pump….

Spent the last week cleaning 40 years of grime off the log cabin and barn. Once cleaned and dried, the sealer went on, followed by new chinking. Chinking is an ongoing process, but I will have it done before winter. There is nothing major for projects, other than felling next years firewood.

The gardens are ready for next year’s planting and in a few weeks, I will be preparing all the flowerbeds for winter. I still need to power up the workshop so to be able to work out there during the winter months. The forge is in and working, and I am now scrounging scrap steel to practice the art of the blacksmith.

 

 

 

 

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