WTF Happened?…

As winter is now officially here, a bit God damned early in my most humble opinion, the chores and repairs that kept me busy all autumn have either been completed or went on hiatus, which leaves me with time to kill.  I shouldn’t complain about sitting on my ass next to the wood-stove, but I am not one to sit for long.  Neither am I very good at “small talk” type conversations, so my interaction with others is somewhat limited.  Not that I mind greatly.  As I read all the asinine shit going on in this country, I am happy to be where I am.

I went back through this blog, reading the crap I wrote years ago.  Some of those posts were so bad I instantly shit canned them and then looked over my shoulder to make sure no one had read any of it.  But what I came away with is that over the years, I have changed.  Not just gray hair, wrinkles and achy joints, but the way I see the world today.

For a subtle description, I morphed from “How are you feeling today?” (when first began facilitating groups) to, “You need to make some choices with your life that aren’t so fucking selfish and take care of your family.” , to “What the fuck is the matter with you?  Grow some fucking balls, get off your lazy ass and be a responsible adult.”   Yes, I know……not very therapeutic.  But I don’t give a fuck.  I got tired of whiny weak ass people who wouldn’t survive any challenge, let alone a natural disaster or emergency.

Today’s antics caused me to think of the history of this country.  Our ancestors kicked butt.  They kicked British ass back to London…twice.  Fought everyone and their brothers for God, country and Manifest Destiny.  Industrialized the world, fought 2 World Wars and saved Europe…twice.  These same people built the country’s infrastructure with blood, sweat and tears, and for many, their lives.

And now look at how society exists.  And it is really sad and disgusting.

Now my only question is: What the fuck happened to this country?


White Shit…

Winter finally dumped its load and now everything is pristine white. A heavy, wet and sticky blanket of snow.  The beginning of a 6 month period of plowing roads. shoveling roofs, lugging wood and trudging snow.

At times I wonder…

On the flip side, there is such a silence.  During the recent storm, there was very little activity out on the main dirt road.  Besides not being plowed, people stayed home.  Smart people…unlike all the dumb shits I have been reading about lately….

One of the things I did to maintain what is left of my sanity was to stop watching and listening to the national news.  I do keep up with print, but even then the media needs to be used like salt.  A pinch here, a pinch there.  There is very little I take for honest truth when it comes to reporting all the crazy shit going on today.  I hear about right wing conservatives, left wing socialist democrats, elected leadership (and I use that term very loosely) and see how lost and inefficient they have become.  I hear about all the snowflakes who’s need for a “safe place” outweighs growing a pair.  Violence, ignorance and apathy seems to have over flowed and drowned the traits of common sense, moral decency and honor.

Am I cynical?  After watching the spiraling down of social norms for the past 60 years, fucking right I am  Does my cynicism overshadow all the positives in my life?  Not in the least.  It is what it is…

But I digress…back to the white shit.

Now, I have the temporary opportunity to romanticize the images of falling snow, the dead quietness of the mountain and the solitude winter affords.  To sit and watch the flame shadows dance and to enjoy my hot coffee without interference.  I figure by springtime I will have either become one with this mountain or batshit crazy.  Time will tell.

I do know that the plowing, shoveling, lugging and trudging will become damned old, damned fast.  No matter how much spin I give it, winters are long, cold and dark.  Good for vampires.  For me…not so much.

So, here’s to now….






Here’s the surprising answer of a 6 year old child.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that dogs’ lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, ”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay for as long as we do.”






Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

• When your loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
• Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
• Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.
• Take naps.
• Stretch before rising.
• Run, romp, and play daily.
• Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
• Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
• On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
• On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
• When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
• Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
• Be faithful.
• Never pretend to be something you’re not.
• If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
• When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

That’s the secret of happiness that we can learn from a good dog.

by Bill Overton

Finally Home…

I am working harder now, than I have for years. It feels good. Began clearing brush and inspecting the woodlot. Also began realizing I am not all that young anymore. And sadly, it won’t get any better… As they say….”It is, what it is.”

There are advantages of living remotely, besides the peace and quiet from the rat race one experiences here in the woods.  There is also a learning curve involved.  It takes time to shed all the drama, noise and routines of everyday life that one has lived for decades. This is all the shit you carry with you along that road.  This shit needs to disappear.

The one important thing I learned is to not let your work identify who you are. One’s work is just a temporary extension of a multi-faceted lifestyle. If you do not separate your work from who you are, there will be a sense of loss once you retire. Just be forewarned…

Another benefit…or not… of solitude is the opportunity to engage your brain into a new level of thinking. Not that superficial brain activity that people do to get through the day, but something slower…deeper…more tangible. Thinking that asks pertinent questions of one’s self. Thinking may elicit moments of regret, or melancholy or bring a smile, a sense of accomplishment or a feeling pride in that you lived a good life as a good person. Here one can get a deeper sense of who one really is.  It is a time to unclutter and rid oneself of all that shit I carry, make choices of priorities and reconnect with my environment. It is a place and time to truly enjoy the awesomeness of mother nature and to give thanks to all the gifts one is given throughout one’s life. I have many…people I still carry in my heart and mind, a great family, many good friends and life accomplishments. The latter being something that validates the importance of our existence within our own minds…

Hiked up the back acres to mark trees for next year’s firewood and stopped to check on the well. Three tiles deep (12′ deep)and spring fed. The well is almost an 8th mile from the cabin and sits at a much higher elevation…hence, gravity feed water system. Clean spring water and no pump….

Spent the last week cleaning 40 years of grime off the log cabin and barn. Once cleaned and dried, the sealer went on, followed by new chinking. Chinking is an ongoing process, but I will have it done before winter. There is nothing major for projects, other than felling next years firewood.

The gardens are ready for next year’s planting and in a few weeks, I will be preparing all the flowerbeds for winter. I still need to power up the workshop so to be able to work out there during the winter months. The forge is in and working, and I am now scrounging scrap steel to practice the art of the blacksmith.





My Mountain….

Having finished the labor of moving and stacking this winter’s firewood, I began exploring the back country….or 16 acres of it anyway…I wanted to cruise the woodlot and see what I could cut for next years warmth.  Managing the lot is first priority as I hope to need firewood for a few more years.  My primary heat is a wood-stove located in the basement and I also have a wood burning cook-stove to feed.  I put up two and half cord and will see what happens.

Moving to the mountain has afforded the luxury of solitude.  It has also benefited me in that I can now say that the world ends at the nearest road.  My mountain, my exile and my world.  I rarely listen to the news media’s biased reporting and now pay little attention to the growing divided this country is experiencing.  Alt. right, alt left, antifa, ineffectual governments, dirty politicians, violence, racism, hatred and all those other problems do not exist here.

One may wonder if I care and I will tell you that for the most part….No.  I do not care. Not as much anymore.

I will explain why.  I grew up believing in this country.  I do still believe in it’s ideals though many of those have fallen by the wayside.   I served my country during the Vietnam war and my thanks was to be spit on.  No big deal but I remember the atmosphere of dislike for those in the military.  It is something I will always remember.  I served my community as a member of town government for numerous years and I have served society in general as a Substance Abuse Counselor in a prison system until I retired and as a foster-parent to many children.

I decided that it is time to serve me.  To allow me to live out the remaining years doing what I want.  Taking care of me and eliminating the unrelenting bullshit that the world has created for itself.  Selfish? Yes…maybe….Apathetic?…Not so much…

I truly hope the world finds peace and good will but my faith in humanity is about zero.  We have developed mind boggling technologies, medical breakthroughs and hundreds of scientific discoveries but in the areas of enlightenment, spirituality, empathy and emotional intelligence we have yet to leave the cave.  Intolerance of everything we don’t agree with is the norm and I have chosen to look out at this  world and say “Fuck you, I’m outta here”, until people come to their senses…



My Mountain…

For as many years as I can remember, my one constant was believing that one day, after I retired from the rat race, I would spend my days sitting on my porch, listening to the wind songs and staring contentedly at the mountains.  I even used this scenario in the groups I facilitated, designating this dream as my (for lack of a better term) “happy place.”

I finally retired.  Now, as I sit on my back porch, somewhere in the mountains in New Hampshire, I am still in awe and wonderment that I ever made it.  The quiet peacefulness is beyond awesome, the sounds of nature; inspiring and the view….

There are somethings that I should have realized when moving into the mountains.  Things like chinking the log cabin, prepping the gardens for winter, putting up several cord of firewood to keep myself from freezing and putting in a good supply of food stuff…just in case I can’t get into town.  The Farmer’s Almanac says it will be a bitter winter season with above average snow.  Average here is about 100″.  Enough to make things interesting.  Bring it on….I am finally home…




“Every spirit builds itself a house; and beyond its house a world; and beyond its world, a heaven. Know then, that the world exists for you. For you is the phenomenon perfect. What we are, that only can we see. All that Adam had, all that Caesar could, you have and can do. Adam called his house, heaven and earth; Caesar called his house, Rome; you perhaps call yours, a cobler’s trade; a hundred acres of ploughed land; or a scholar’s garret. Yet line for line and point for point, your dominion is as great as theirs, though without fine names. Build, therefore, your own world.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you an old soul?

The world consists of a variety of people and each one is at a different stage of soul evolution.

An old soul is someone whose energy has reincarnated many times over and this means that they have experienced many lifetimes here on Earth—maybe some that weren’t even human.

Old souls are easy to recognize, often by a certain look in their eyes, as it appears as though they can see straight through you. They are also identified by how they view the world in a way that is vastly different to how the majority of other people perceive it.

Although we use the term “old souls,” the concept has no relation to the number of years the soul has existed for. Time is not linear to a soul and the concept of old souls is associated with life-experience, reincarnation and also the amount of karmic clearing that has taken place, rather than the amount of time spent on Earth.  

From a young age old souls are wise beyond their years. They are noticeably advanced with their achievements and say things that would usually be spoken by someone far beyond their chronological age. They approach the world through old eyes and as though they have experienced similar life cycles before and seem to innately know things that others struggle to comprehend.

They are able to see, with ease, into the future and this is one of the reasons that they place trust in their intuition and use it as a faithful tool to guide them. They are aware that each decision they make creates an alternative picture of their overall life, so they will swap direction and make necessary changes without regret, knowing that ultimately their choices are shaping their eventual destination.

Due to their eternal unrest old souls are seekers who are on an adventure fueled with intrigue, inquisition, curiosity and self-exploration, rather than one that rewards hierarchies, social statuses or financial achievements. Their mind is constantly searching for answers and theorizing, scrutinizing and philosophizing.

Old souls are not necessarily intellectuals, even though many of them do obtain many qualifications due to their quest for knowledge. It is more common for old souls to self-educate and find the route to their own version of success rather than gaining their education from formal organisations. They are not ones for authority or regulation and whether they study or not, they are brimming with wisdom and knowledge that derives from lives fully lived.

Success to an old soul begins and ends with soul nourishment and anything else that results is simply a by-product and holds little value in comparison to personal growth and fulfillment. 

Old souls are emotionally and psychologically intelligent as well as being truth seers and their search for authenticity leads them to cut straight through the majority of the illusions that mask the true state of reality.

Due to their ability to see the world with clarity, rather than through a rose coloured bubble, they can become ostracised in society as others might believe their views and opinions to be pessimistic and cynical rather than seeing the old soul as awake, aware and realistic.

They do not need to be taught what is right from wrong, and although they can be rebellious, they inherently know how to behave and have high morals and ethics. However, they choose to live by their own rules rather than the written or unwritten ones that society demands.

The comfort of their home is their haven, and is the place that old souls are usually found curled up reading a mind-challenging book or classic literature in front of an open fire. These individuals are not dazzled by things that glitter, so they do not have the desire to compete or to submerge themselves in materialistic possessions, grandiose declarations or superficial surroundings.

Alone time is immensely important for an old soul as they are deep thinkers and find great pleasure in sifting through their mind so they can evoke the accumulation of historic memories that have been stored throughout their lifetimes. Although, they are at peace while on their own, they never consider themselves as being lonely as they have a profound understanding of oneness, so they constantly feel an intense connection to everything that exists or has previously existed on earth.

Rather than experiencing loneliness old souls associate their introversion with solitude as it allows them the space and time to delve into introspection so they can decode the meaning of their life and also a great understanding of the world.

Old souls sometimes struggle, feeling isolated and alien-like while in the company of others who cannot or will not try to relate or resonate with their experiences. They are almost otherworldly and can feel out of sync, often believing as though they exist in an alternative dimension. 

They may feel like the “black sheep” in their family or the “lone wolves” of society. Other people find it difficult to understand their behavior or the way they feel and experience the world.

Old souls can seem old-fashioned to many as they appreciate sentimental offerings and cherish the simpler things in life. Whether it be a hot tea in their favourite mug, a walk along cliff tops with friends, vintage framed photograph of a grandparent, a hand knitted sweater or choosing to pen a romantic letter to a loved one, old souls enjoy close connections to things that are precious to them or that are reminders of days gone by.

Friends and relationships are not sought out by old souls, although, if they do establish bonds with people it is with those who they have a strong spiritual connection and they will likely keep these people close to their heart and treasure them for numerous life times.

Old souls are not the outrageous, extroverted types who are the life of parties. Instead, they prefer to sit quietly and casually in the fringes where they can either observe human behaviour or converse with others about philosophy, literature or the intrinsic wiring of the mind. People are drawn to them as they have incredible listening skills and part of the reason for this is that they understand that when they pay attention and remain silent, they receive a unique opportunity to learn.




They are open minded, accepting and empathetic, so instead of condemning anyone, they look at the root cause of actions so they can understand why someone is behaving in a specific way. Compassion and forgiveness is offered, even if the old soul has been treated badly or hurt throughout the process.

Self-worth can be a difficult thing for old-souls to achieve as they do not look to other people to validate their character, neither do they seek ego-boosting compliments or endorsements. They question their identity and scrutinize their core traits. It can take them a long time to feel comfortable in their own skin, though that is mainly due to the fact that they are unlike those around them. When they do find self-acceptance they are thick-skinned and resilient souls and nothing and no-one will sway or break them.

Old souls are often described to be in their latter stages of evolvement. They are believed to have cleared much of their karmic debt and have learned many tough, arduous and excruciatingly painful lessons along their way, although this lifetime they are not attracted to drama or conflict and instead they are magnetized towards peace, harmony and balance.

They often seem as though they are born before their time as their ideologies, beliefs, inventions, artistic expression, thoughts and unconventional lifestyles can all make them feel as though they are out of touch with their own generation. Old souls are often misunderstood, misinterpreted and misplaced in society as they have unorthodox characters which can seem eccentric, perplexing and bewildering to most.

Nevertheless, they are valuable and precious fountains of wisdom that are of immeasurable benefit to the world. Old souls are the free spirits, game changers, creators, charismatic leaders, curious beings, philosophers, truth seekers, peacekeepers, warriors with tender hearts, wild imaginations and those with gentle but unbreakable spirits.

Old souls are the ones who live quietly and discreetly, often as recluses, outside society’s safely sealed box. 

It can take a little time to get to know and understand these old souls that have journeyed barefoot on this planet many times over. However, if they choose to unravel and reveal their magnificent eternal spirit, they will realize their true purpose here on earth and that is perfectly attuned to the order of the divine. Their existence here on Earth in this exact era is for a higher purpose not only for themselves but to share the knowledge and wisdom they have accumulated so that it benefits and enhances the life of all living things.

Try the quiz below if the above aligns with your traits and characteristics, or pass it on to someone you think may be an old soul.


Are you an old soul?   Take the test..